Monday, May 24, 2010

Grandpa, were you there?

It has been two months ago since I last updated this blog; as I have not have the time nor the interesting stories/stuffs which I would like to share on.
(There is an article which I am compiling on a festival though and hopefully it will be posted here pretty soon).

I recently read a story in one of my TSGS books which reminded me of a small incident back when my grandfather passed away.

I don't fancy myself as one of those who had any dealings or encounters with the outworldly being or spiritual world (besides GOD) and I definitely do not hope for anything like that as well.

This incident is not anything major; but it just felt odd and scary at that time and I think I kept quiet about it all the while as I just didn't associate it with an actual incident, but rather, a figment of my imagination.

I remembered it was back then in 1994; when my grandfather passed away.
It was on that day; I still remember it vividly in my mind, as I was the one who picked up the phone during the thunderstorm at 5.15pm and I was told to fetch my mum to answer the phone.

When my mum put down the phone, she told us in a very solemn voice, "Your grandfather had just passed away"

Being kids, we were just really naive and inexperienced and I just know we were both surprised by the news as we remembered that grandpa was reported to be safe and healthy following his bypass surgery the day before and was expected to be discharged the very next day.

Mummy told us to take our baths and pack some of our clothes in dull colors (black, blue and white) as we were to head to my uncle's place (where grandpa and grandpa stayed)

I headed to the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
While I was showering, I noticed a pair of black leather shoes standing outside my door.
(Our bathroom is located in the kitchen and at that time, our bathroom door which was a wooden one had some damages at the bottom of the door; the wood decayed and therefore, the end of the door was elevated a few inches from the normal ones, hence it gave me a clear view of anything slid under the door.

I thought it was my brother standing in front of the door; hurrying me for his turn.
I dismissed anything funny and quickly showered. However, I remembered having a weird and nagging feeling that it was not my brother nor my mummy, and something, just something told me deep inside that it was grandpa.

I didn't want to delve into it, or to increase my own fear.

The shoes were just there for a short while, when I turned my back to shower and when I turned back, it was gone.

I came out and asked my brother, and he told me he was in the living room watching tv the whole time while Mummy was inside the room packing.

Daddy was not home yet, and nobody wears shoes inside the house anyway; furthermore, these are black leather shoes (shoes that my grandpa only wore on Sundays to the church - my grandpa was a really frugal person)

I could never make head or tail out of this, and I did not pursue it further anyway.

But to this day, I was wondering, was it really grandpa?
Was he really the one who stood outside the bathroom?
Did he come to bid me a last goodbye? (I was his first grandchild and one of his favorites)

I wished I knew, but sometimes, I guess I don't really wanna know either.
Some things are better left unknown.

Grandpa, wherever you are (I am sure you are in a much better place now), you are a good man and one of my most respected person in my life.

I am sure God wanted a good man like you by his side forever, and whether it was you that time, I knew it was goodbye and I know today, you are watching me from heaven.